My Total Gym story
I needed to exercise and was looking for a way that I could work it into my day. I am not a gym guy and like to exercise on my own. Just before COVID, I bought a magnetic rower which was a good way to keep fit but got monotonous and did not help my occasional lower back problems. Remembering the Chuck Norris infomercials for the Total Gym, I thought it might be good for me because unlike the rower, the Total Gym could do many different kinds of exercises, not just rowing; plus, because you lie on the sliding platform, it supports your back as opposed to free weights or exercise bands. But new Total Gyms were about $1000. What if I did not like it or use it?
I got a Facebook account, just so I could use Marketplace to buy a cheap, used Total Gym. There were a lot of TGs for sale. I tried to contact several sellers to set up a buying meeting, but because my account was new and blank with no personal information or posts, I think people wrote it off as a scam account and never e-mailed me back. When a guy in Burnaby had a Total Gym for sale for $50, I wrote to him that I was interested, told him my account was legit and even included my cell phone number in case he wanted to call me to verify. He contacted me right away and we set up a time the following evening.
The seller, Steve (not his real name), had an address that was just down the street from my parents’ old house. I drove there and backed in at the foot of his driveway. Steve greeted me and welcomed me into his house. Right in his living room sat the Total Gym fully set up, just like in his pictures on the post on Marketplace. It was off to the side in his living room, but I got the sense that is where it lived all the time. Steve admitted that he bought the TG in the middle of the night during a Chuck Norris infomercial and it had sat in his living room for the last 20-odd years. He hinted that with the amount of room it took up in his living room (think 7-foot long ironing board) and the few times he actually used it, his wife wanted it gone.
As Steve talked, I checked the Total Gym over and thought that though it was old, it was in excellent condition, probably from lack of use. I handed the $50 to him and he seemed happy with the money, happy to have the Total Gym gone, and happy to restore harmony with his wife. As he pocketed the money, Steve said, “I’ll help you take it out to your truck.” I told him that I did not have a truck, but my back seat folded down. Steve was doubtful it would fit because, though he could get the Total Gym flat, it was still over 7 feet long. Still, he grabbed an end and I grabbed an end and we took it out to my car.
We tried sliding the Total Gym in through my trunk but it was too long. Being a really nice guy, Steve offered to drive it out to my place in his truck! I told him, “It is kind of you to offer, but why don’t we just fold it?” Steve just looked at me blankly, and said, “It folds?” I said, “Yeah, like this.” The TG was lying on his driveway, and remembering the Youtube videos I had watched, I pulled it up from the middle where it jack-knifed and folded in half, then I slid it into the back of my car. Steve's face scrunched up and he repeated disbelievingly, “It folds?” Then I think he swore under his breath, thinking he would have kept it if he had known it folded, perhaps remembering the battles he had with his wife over the space-eating eyesore in his living room.
Now, the Total Gym resides, folded and on end, hidden behind the hutch in my dining room. I pull it out at least four times per week when I do resistance training or Pilates reformer workouts and put it back when I am done. The Total Gym turned out to be the perfect exercise tool for me. And my marriage is still intact.
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| My unfolded Total Gym with my Pilates foot bar mod |
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